20 October 2014

Lucy (2014) - ENG



Lucy, ladies and gentlemen.

Rate: C.P.H.4

And while the 4th season of HOMELAND has started with great expectations and hopes not to be a ‘bubble’ like some other series we spent for nothing so many human-labor-TV-hours watching  them, let’s talk about one of the last movies of our favorite Scarlett Johansson.

Let’s start then. The story is quite simple: From the first ape-Neanderthal till juicy-Scarlett a very very long time has passed. But, we have something in common: Our name is Lucy, we are proud of it and that’s why we are using only 10% of our brain (let’s say 10% for the movie’s sake…).

Somewhere there in the far East (let's say Taipei...) unlucky juicy-Lucy gets involved by accident in a drug trafficking case where some little yellow asian people managed to produce a really cool and shitty substance. Their goal is to export it in Europe since EU is a mental institution full of retards who love blue pills (Viagra on the list…checked!) and it's a perfect market opportunity for $$$. The master chief of the drug gang is the one and only Mr. Jang (aka Min-sik Choi…RESPECT) and once again we are witnesses of the unorthodox though brilliant methods which the tinny-eye Korean mobs use to convince people to do sth for them.

The clock is ticking and the blue substance (…not Viagra!!!) makes people smarter, faster, deadlier and – our favorite – more and more emotionless. Somewhere there we add to the story a black guy (aka Morgan Freeman) who supposed to have studied human evolution and likes to call himself a ‘doctor’, and the quartet is full by adding to the equation a French-anti-drug-cop (aka Amr Waked) since a drug story with no cops is still science fiction.

The rhythm of the movie is exponential, literally mind blowing and it deserves your precious time, just to see the sequel (according to my humble opinion…) of the 5th Element – 1997 with more and more ethical dilemmas like who we are (I mean humans…), where do we come from, where we will end up, etc etc.  1 hour and 22 minutes and pizza-beer can keep you company burning calories from your sofa and admiring juicy-Lucy through her entire transformation.

Bonus: The Korean lady, Amy Winehouse look alike (in an east-yellow version…), who is taking care of Mr. Jang’s tattoos.

Moral Lesson / Precept: Hm…many things. For starters, Scarlett is not good for a taxi driver. Moreover, 10% is good and acceptable, but 20% is even better. Above 20% the fucked-up shit starts!!!

Racist comment of the day: a blonde woman with extra-ordinary brain functionality (this is the fiction part…) still is not able to cook properly (let’s say boil an egg…) but she wants to help  mankind and preserve (or even excel…hahaha!!!) all human knowledge in a fucking memory stick. Stick it where you know juicy-Lucy. And then press download and save as…

We liked: The fact that Luc Besson still has the magic touch and he can still continue to surprise us remaining faithful at the same time to his country, and making productions/movies that other Europeans are still dreaming of doing, having Paris smashed here and there like it’s his little playground where baby-dreams come true. The obvious innuendo somewhere at the end in regards of the ‘hand of God’, is sth amazing, A class LB style – if you are still sober and you know basic shit about art. Ok, ok, art and pop-corn-coca-cola is sth different but there are 5-10 seconds where you can mix everything with a spectacular result, especially if the ‘hand of God’ is a generous gesture of miss juicy-Lucy-Scarlett and her superb, trend nail-polisher.

Should I watch it? Why not…? You ‘ve seen worst movies already. The visual effects at some points are really amazing. We do not really know what kind of pills LB is taking, but judging from the result we like them.

Memorabilia: But 1 + 1 has never equal 2...ooo!!!

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